It Happened. It was a dream I’ve had for about 10 years. Finally pushing aside all of the fictional obstacles and excuses to audition was a win in and of itself.
I remember the 3 am drive to Dallas. When most of my friends were turning in for the “night,” I was turning on. I was starting to live- unapologetically and with a little more than a healthy dose of reckless abandon.
Post-divorce craziness. Google it. It’s a real thing.
The audition process was long and grueling. I hate keeping secrets, and I am embarrassingly impatient. This process required me to acquiesce to both.
Some of you saw Season 20 of The Amazing Race. Some of you did not. To those who did, I apologize for my language and behavior.
Well, for my behavior anyhow.
F&@% my language.
It was the single most grueling, awesome, painful, glorious, disappointing, rewarding experience. It changed the trajectory of my life, my insights, and faith. My confidence and dreams were shaken to the core by a series of little, rubber chickens.
With the same new-pain conviction, post-partum women and over-imbibing adults say it; I swore I would never do it again.
But they almost always do…
Most Frequently Asked Questions:
What was your favorite place you visited and why?
How bad did the Japanese Rubber Chicken challenge hurt with your sprained ankle?
Is Big Brother Rachel really that bad?
To which I answer, respectively (but not respectfully):
Africa. The people were the sweetest, most positive, inspiring people I have ever met. They eat food at which we would snub our noses, drink water our bodies would not find potable, and wear clothes we’ve discarded and they are the richest people with whom I’ve ever been in contact. I’ve contemplated living there… and never stopped.
The Freaking Japanese. Freaking rubber. Freaking chicken. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. I have played volleyball with broken bones, worn sky-high heels after a screw was drilled into my ankle, and have ruptured my Achilles tendon. This was the single most excruciating, soul-ripping, nerve exploding pain I have ever felt.
The fact I had to do it over 20 times and the anticipation of that pain was too nauseating for me to even watch that episode. I went from being heckled by the bloodthirsty, Japanese audience to having them cheer me on and encourage me to, “Do it ONE MORE TIME, VANESSA!”
I left my soul out on that treadmill. It is a moment I’ll never forget. It is also the one I’ll never relive. I’ll never watch that episode.
And finally…. Yes. She’s intolerable.